I want to write about failure from the perspective of someone who deals with the possibility regularly. I want to dish out a magnificent solution that saved me from succumbing to my concept of failure. But I’m not here to pretend to be someone I’m not. My truth is that I feel like a failure much of the time.
I’m not writing this from a place of self-pity. I’m long over that. I’ve come to accept failure as a part of the creative journey. Any time we are living from our hearts, seeking evolution, striving for more or better, we will come up against failure, because we know there is always more, we can always do better.
I don’t particularly like the feeling, but without the possibility of failure perhaps I wouldn’t put my entire heart and soul into everything I do. Failure is a great motivator. It’s a necessary player in the navigation of your life. It is not a reason to stop. Failures purpose is to catalyse you into action, to recalibrate your direction, to claim the right to stand in your shoes baring the scars of a well-travelled road.
You gotta get back up, again and again because the one who gets up most gets to teach or make a billion dollars like JK Rowling. Didn’t she get rejected 12 times for HP as a penniless writer?
As a child I competed in competitions for ballet and drama. Failure has been part of my life since a young age. If I didn’t win, my teacher would say ‘what’s the use of winning, you don’t learn anything by being good.’
You are building muscle and heart. Failures give you bragging rights, dinner party stories and street cred. If you’re not poised on the edge of failure, you’re not living at your edge of possibility…and I can’t live that way. I’m stimulated by the possibility of failure. I would rather be there than stuck and static, unchallenged.
‘Grow or die.’ – I read that about biological evolution. I like it.
And really, is failure so bad in the end? All things pass in time. I bet for every ‘failure’ you can note three good things that came of it. Failure? Or progression?
I know, i know, the feeling sucks but I urge you to embrace failure as if it were a good fairy baring secret gifts
Take a running jump into failure. You might actually succeed or you might do a smashing job succeeding at failure, which means its win-win. Give yourself permission to f#ck it up, and with the threat of self-judgement gone, you might feel less afraid. I mean really, the only failure that will really hurt is the failure to not keep going and do something worthwhile.
And most importantly PLAY. Life is supposed to be joyful and if it’s not, you’re off track. You can worry your way through life or you can play through it…it’s all an experiment in how to you can live most joyfully. That’s all that really matters.
If you feel out of balance (euphemism for mortified by failure or paralysed by an impending one) lower your expectation of yourself or raise your appreciation of what is. I prefer the later because I know I will never lower my expectations.
If fear of failure is holding you back, pause and write down the good things you ARE doing, appreciate the things that ARE going right, you’ll feel better, less afraid and may even manage to boost your self worth.
And get some perspective…PLAY a little more.
What’s the worst that can happen? A bruised heart or ego that will heal and at best a kick up the butt to shift your perspective and keep focusing on the things you love to do.
You cannot possibility see the impact of your presence in the world. Your heart felt longing to grow and be your best is deeply moving and inspiring. You help no one but letting the shadow side of failure hold you back.
And remember: luck favours the brave.
GET BACK UP! GET BACK UP!
….or don’t. Then see how you feel.