I want to write about truth. And I suppose lies. Satya or truthfulness seems to be the elusive rabbit warren of possibility. There is no end point because truth keeps unfolding with the passing of time. And to complicate things more, the truth is what you decide it to be.
In class today I asked how many people thought it was ok to tell a white lie. Most people put up their hand. We laughed knowingly. What’s the big deal?
I used to think white lies were permissible. But lately I’m not so sure they are.
White lies are so eeeeeazy. Much easier than coming clean.
For example I’ve used this one before:
Easy Lie to friend: Everything’s Ok
Harder truth: I feel something weird’s going on between us and want to talk
The consequence of a little lie? Stalemate, awkwardness, suspicion, rumours, another little lie, entrapment.
The reward for unleashing truth? Evolution, growth, peace, freedom, relief, dignity
I remember the last time I compromised the truth ‘so no one got hurt’. My last long relationship. I loved him but in contrast, my inner conversation was ‘this isn’t right, it’s not right’. My belly felt sore, but I didn’t make the connection. Then I’d go home and do my best to love. The pain of misalignment was immense. It was a very big and costly white lie.
I had a chance to evolve us somewhere new, instead the lie became an eroding force.
Truth hurts, but a lie hurts more.
For the love of god, could we all be honest with ourselves and others? No more pretending that it’s working for you if it’s not. Have the difficult conversation, status quo will return eventually. No more upholding an image that isn’t true anyway! And can we please eradicate the phrase (and the need to) ’save face’. What face? The bullshit one? Aw that gets me going.
Your truth is needed. You, as you are, come with quirks and neuroses and weird family traits and brilliant talents, unusual birthmarks, embarrassing stories, a tendency to be late, unpredictable longings and an unbelievably loving heart.
And before any difficult truth has time to become a lie, let it live because in honesty, it’s all ok.
The truth is the harder road but it has the potential to yield much more beauty.
Three steps to Satya
- Ask. Is this really true?
Come out in the world as you are and watch the world open it’s doors to the real you.